Dads don't cry

Dads don't cry will be a podcast about all the fathers who wants to flip the script and break free of gender stereotypes, like the father helper or the male breadwinner and how they advocate for gender equality.

At first, you may not see the link between women empowerment and fatherhood but the reality is that with the unpaid care work, mainly childcare and household work, falling mostly on women, our capacity to dedicate more time in building fulfilling careers is greatly reduced! I call this the "capacity equation" and it is a real matter of fact! So it is no wonder that many successful women mention their partner support as an enabler for their career development.

if we are to advocate for gender equality, we have to look at it holistically and that is advocating for men to enjoy the same freedom to be fathers beyond the weekend, beyond "daddy day care"; and for women to be dedicating time to their career without renouncing to motherhood or burning out with too many juggling responsibilities or even returning to work but in roles for which they are overqualified for just so that they can have the flexibility to attend to duties perceived as "women's duties" (hint, childcare, housechores and the lots are not a women's duty but it does mostly fall on women).

So yes, "Dads don't cry", role modelling for men to share the love and load, is tied to women's empowerment and, I believe, at its foundation!

On envisionning this podcast, my partner and I discussed our experience in parenthood and how he was able to have a demanding job (Head of Client first coaching at Insignia Financial) while embracing modern fatherhood as a father who is really trying hard to build equality between the mother of his toddler and himself, so that we can both enjoy parenthood and a full fulfilling career. Taking almost an equal parental leave and an equal part time work arrangement between mother and father has meant that he does not miss out on the very unique bond that many toddlers often only have with their mothers as they are typically the ones who are mostly around. And it also means that I, as one of the 98% of mothers wanting to return to work after having a child, that I could go back to work and step up into a demanding role as a clinical project manager, four days a week.

The 4 days a week is an arrangement that can be easier to negotiate because it does allow for enough time to perform high demanding roles, hence not causing people to miss out on work opportunities and promotions, as it may be the case with a shorter week. While it may be unusual for men to request this 4 days a week arrangement, my partner's first hand experience in returning to work part time is that recruiters may be reluctant but the hiring manager can roll with it if you are able to showcase your commitment to work and how this can work in the role. It is also important to address the stigma that part-time work = part time comittment. Part-time workers are interested in their career but they are also interested in making space for the rest of their life and it does not result in less dedication at work, provided employeers can provide a supportive environment.

So next time you think that as a man, your employer or recruiter won't understand a part-time arrangement. Well, try it. And you may be surprised the more fathers requested and the more it can and surely will, given time, become a norm.

And if you are an employer or a manager, well that's on you to set the model, just go for it and propose it, encourage your men employees to do it so that they don't feel the stigma and they provide a role model.

And if men no longer had to be the male breadwinner, the provide of the family, wouldn' t they feel less pressure and have improved mental health?

I acknoweldege that in the current work climate, it does not work for every profession, and there is still a long way to go to facilitate fathers' involvement for everyone and in every profession. Perhaps with the goverment stepping in to facilitate this for small businesses and sole traders.

I think there is still a need to engage more men and especially modern father, longing to break the stigma, hence "Dads don't Cry" may very well be my next podcas, hoping to give you a different perspective on modern parenting possibilities.

What about you? What are your thoughts and struggles?

Would you like to see "Dads don't cry" launch soon?